Saturday, 15 November 2008

Take The Challenge ?!

I have always loved computers .. I adore my laptop , in the last 5 years I make sure I spent more than 5 hours daily just surfing the net or typing some works or just having fun with all sorts of new programms on the net .

it brings joy , maybe not to eveybody , but in my case id does .. I have never considered my laptop as a source of distraction of any kind . on the contrary , I see it as a savior from everything .. from boredom , from anxiety ,
from illness and
even from cold , can you imagine
how warm a laptop can get when it is ON for 3 or 4 hours in a row , I just can't stop thinking that I will end up living a life without computers , it's like .. my , home sweet home !!

that is the reason why I decided to study computer science , it has been my passion since ever and when you feel passionate about something you would like to know everything you can about it , and you would like to explore what ever you can pertaining it .

My decision arouse million of questions around me ..

" why computers ? " ,
" what will you do for living after finishinig your studies ? " ,
" don't you think guys are more apropriate for such a feild ? " .
bla .. bla .. bla ..

all kinds of never ending comments .. it was a shock .. a dissappointment actually !!
though I did not back down , this was my desire for a long time , how can I allow this criticism - that is far away from being objective as it could be - to break my will , and extinguish my craving desire to learn and know about the passion of my life !!

I certainly will not allow that to happen , not that and not the fact that now I am more than a week behind in my studies , will be the reason for me to give up and bring this dream to an end !!

yes I am a week behind .. and maybe soon it will be two weeks , but my hands are tied , I can only sit and pray for things to turn to my side , and maybe after recieving the answer that I have been impatiently waiting for for the last 5 months , maybe just then I will start experiencing the joy of a liftime dream !!

remember the crossroads I mentioned once before , this is one .
drop the dream becuase I am a bit late behind at the moment ? ,

or take the challenge and suffer a bit and gain the sweet pleasure and result of suffering ?

I believe I have already made my choice ..

I think now it is time for me to dance in the rain :) !!


Friday, 14 November 2008

Be Afraid , Live !!

there's an old saying about life " only when we are no longer afraid , do we begin to live " .

it's kind of funny , when you think that what's happening in your life is the scariest scenario of all time , and you just can't help yourself , you don't give advice any more , you don't try to console or encourage youself like you used to do with your closest people .

the fact that we sometimes stand alone .. in the middle of a crowd , is terrifying .

only when we face such situations do we start to consider that there are times when we are afraid and can do nothing to conceal that feeling , but wait for it to evaporate !!

but is it really all we can do .. is it possible that we can convince our selves that fear is only the anticipation of pain , and if we exterminate pain terms from our life there will be no cause to be afraid ?

I certainly think so , but the concept of eradicating fear is scary and imperceptible !

and also very difficult to comprehend , imagine you standing in the middle of a junction .. knowing that one road leads you to your precious most desirable places to your heart , but you may face as many hurdles as you may imagine , you will get hurt and recover and get hurt again , you may expect diffuculties with every step you make on your way .

and the other is a long easy road , no flowers on the way but it might take you a liftime to get to the end , although eventually you will , you will feel no fear , no shocks , no sorrow .. you will experience no pain , no injuries !!

perfect life huh ?! ..

what way would you choose ?

what way should any one choose ?!

I'm scared of what I chose , and if you're scared , why chose it ? (you may wonder)

Because the things you're scared of .. are usually the most worthwhile .