Monday, 25 October 2010

you made me question my love for the sea , I hate you for that!!
I need to move on with my life , I need you to stay out of my head , mind , thoughts and dreams.
you can't keep haunting me, I need to live, I hate hating you , and I hate even more how you make me feel after hating you , but it's a fact I can't change right now , I won't stop hating you. so I just need to stop seeing you in my dreams , I hate that the one mistake of my life is haunting me even when I'm asleep , I sleep to run away from everything, and I find you!
I regret ever knowing you, you made me hate someone! I never thought I could hate anyone..
and I will never , NEVER forgive you !

Friday, 22 October 2010

Thank you!


                            Mai
1. For being there for me.
2. For helping me through rough times.
3. For bearing with my insanity.
4. For sharing the best times with me.
5. And.. for believing in me, when I stopped believing in myself!

I owe you my life!
please do not use my photos without my permission !!

Saturday, 16 October 2010

This time, don't need another perfect line 
Don't care if critics never jump in line 
I'm gonna give all my secrets away 

My God, amazing how we got this far 
It's like we're chasing all those stars 
Who's driving shiny big black cars 
And everyday I see the news 
All the problems that we could solve 

And when a situation rises 
Just write it into an album 
Singing straight, too cold 
I don't really like my flow, no

Thursday, 14 October 2010

Bleh

I wanna write something , there's an urge for writing now , I don't know what to write though!
I will abstain from writing anything tomorrow or even using my laptop.
not because I'm busy or anything , I'm not, I have like 24 hours a day without any specific activity so I can do whatever I want.
but tomorrow is a very sad day for me, it's been a year since last year's October 15th and I already know that I won't be feeling well tomorrow , so I will do anything that will distract me!
I don't want to be sad , I have a lot of occasions that can make me sad , but I want to try real hard to keep myself from drowning into self petty!
I'm perfectly Fine! and I will still be fine till whenever , but I promise myself (and my promises are sacred and not meant to be broken) that I will not give him a though as I long as shall live.
wait ..
I started with having nothing to say and now I'm talking about all sort of different stuff that aren't even related one to another!
oh I'm losing it!!
No I'm not it's just that I'm a bit confused about everything in my life right now and I'm figuring out what to do at the moment , and it's going pretty well with so far.

whoever read the whole thing is so insanely crazy !!!

Tuesday, 12 October 2010

ya rb

I hope it's a beginning of something new , more fruitful!
I pray for God to help me through this and guide me so I won't make sins during this year !!

moving out and very nervous

I'm packing I'm moving out goint back to the campus..

*SIGH*

wooah this is really stressing !! , now it's almost 00:10 and I'll be leaving in a few hours so wish me luck and I'll see if I can show you my new dorms as soon as possible .

P.S : tonight I looked at the sky and it was so full of stars , I've never seen it this sparkling the whole summer , I hope that's a good sign :/

fingers crossed for this year !!

Sunday, 10 October 2010

well..

I hate you more than I hate everything else in the whole wide world ..
and I hate myself for being able to hate someone !!

Tuesday, 5 October 2010

it wasn't horrific :)

well , it wasn't much of a disaster today.
only 2 remembered , one of whom I was extremely surprised and happy , he made my day really :))
it passed eventually, I'm older than I was yesterday. waaw it does feel different to have a permanent 2 in my age. Urrggg , but it's okay , I'll survive, I'm growing older and prettier and wiser. at least I hope so :)
It wasn't as horrible as I though it would be , thank God.
and thank you for of those of you who forgot, for the little things show how much people care about each others.

Monday, 4 October 2010

...


though I'm breaking , shaking , shattering , have nothing to hold on to , and no one is holding on to me.
though I'm trying so hard but not succeeding.

though I feel like drowning , and the straws I used to click to them are now swimming away from me, swam away from me a long time a go actually.

though everything is going the wrong direction, I still sit in my bed late at night or in early mornings (it depends) to just wonder when it will be okay, Yes I am sure I'll be okay , I'm just not tired to ask myself when it's going to happen, I do miss the old times of me , I deserve better, I've never deserved to be left alone.

but now that I am alone , there's nothing I can do about it except be strong and hanging on.

though I'm breaking into million pieces and my stormy life is blowing my pieces far away each day, 
yes I do , I still do Have Faith. 
it's the one thing I can hold on to tight right now.

please do not use my photos without my permission !!
.