Sunday, 31 July 2011

it sucks to be me right now.
this is exactly the reason why I keep my distance from people, I can never know what they think of me or of whatever I do or say,  even though I hold my heart on my sleeve they still do not understand what I clearly say.
people are scary, it's not safe to be around them all the time, I really do not need any more drama in my life I've had my share and it was a handful, so please just a little peace of mind would be perfect for me right now.

Tuesday, 26 July 2011

You fooled me. I was falling for this mirage, this image of yourself that you were portraying. That youknew I was falling for. But you never did anything to stop me from falling nor did you make any effort to catch me. And so I fell. And come to find out, it was all just a bunch of smoke and mirrors.

Some people just take the words out of mouth, the words I'll never dare to say out loud!
this one by my Flickr friend Makayla Rogers.

Monday, 25 July 2011

what the hell is happening to my dreams!!!

Sunday, 24 July 2011

Friday, 22 July 2011

now I remember, I was dying, I was saying goodbye to everyone, I was walking towards death with my own feet, and I was smiling about it.
it felt so real that I woke up crying, suddenly all the important people flashed in front of my eyes, the tears when I woke up were real, first time in my life I feel so close to the end, that I need to ask for forgiveness from everyone, to tell everyone I love that I will never forget them wherever I'm going, and that one person that I've always said I'll never forgive, I suddenly was letting him go with no hard feeling, for I was leaving this world to another one where I'm alone with no loved ones.
it was so vivid it's terrifying.
I wonder if it's a sign for something!

Tuesday, 19 July 2011

Time and moments and life and death. They all reach out their hands. To hold us, to shake us, to tear us apart, to feed on us, to pull us to their lips and breathe us to life, to touch us soo deeply that they can make our lives theirs. And through this, with bloody hands and shaky fingertips. We survive. We last and live, phantoms of the lost time. Ghosts of those which we were so often denied. And we are braver now, braver and able to make it on our own. With wisdom forming as beads upon your brow. With strength ripping apart your muscles and taking your breath, you are growing still. And if tomorrow you are without. Know that I am here, I am with you. Imperfect, but present. Through life, to death, here in your reach. Here in your hands.
written by my favorite writer so far.
my Flickr friend Janey Lu  !

Transformers 3

Amazing !!
breathtaking, absolutely a piece of art ..

Thursday, 14 July 2011

the moon ifsfull tonight, very bright and very full of everything, I remember the days when I used to stare at the moon for hours and see only one face in the bright white color of the circle, then I would send a text and maybe call and say :"the moon is fascinating tonight, it's taking my breath away, it remind me of you"
now it's all different, I don't remember anyone when I look at the moon, it used to be a very difficult time for me when it remind me of that someone but now when I look at the moon I see some other type of beauty, a type that I neglected before, now I can see that the moon is more than just a beautiful light in the night sky, it's much more than just a rock, it's my long lost friend, the one I talk to in the lonely nights, the one who smiles for me in the happy ones, the most beautiful sparkle in my life.
I wonder why I have not been seeing this before, I've been distracted by something unworthy, now I know I understand things differently, I see more clearly, I'm not young and stupid anymore, I've grown. just like when the hard rain helps a flower bloom, it hits it just to help it become more beautiful and more blooming.
I wonder what my life would be like if tonight I called that person and told him to look how beautiful the moon is tonight, what would have happened if he was still in my heart and my life and my moon?
I guess I'll never know, and that is the beauty of this unpredictable world we live in , but I'm glad my life turned out like this eventually, no regrets, no sorrows, not anymore!

Monday, 4 July 2011

I'm worried, scared of something I don't know, I feel something bad is happening or about to ..
she's not answering her phone, I have not talked to her in three days .. what the hell is going on !!

Sunday, 3 July 2011

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.

I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.

to be continued ..

Friday, 1 July 2011

Lord, Make Me a Rainbow ..

Intense day!
been thinking about all the great things I'm living right now, the great family I have, all the pleasures I enjoy while others can't, like seeing,  talking and walking.
I should be more grateful, I should thank my creator more often, I really don't deserve all the good things that happen to me, I have also thought that I don't deserve the bad things either, but now I think differently, I should be a better person then I'll have the right to think this way.
I wanna live a rich life full of giving, forgiveness, peace and love, love for everything around me, I wanna have the life that I will not feel sorry for when I leave it, I wanna be able to say that I've had enough time and I can leave now ..

so if I die young ..